Plan for Safety 

Using Your Computer

An abuser may have ways of tracking your activities on your home computer that are difficult to prevent.

Also, most web browsers like Internet Explorer and Firefox keep a list of the most recent web sites and links that you have visited in a history file. You can look at your own history by clicking on the history button on your toolbar. If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet.

It is possible to clear the cache and history files so that your computer doesn't keep a list of the sites you have visited. But you should be very cautious about doing this.

CAUTION: If your abuser is comfortable with computers, and sees that you have cleared all the cache and history files on your computer (including the sites they have visited), they could become suspicious or angry. If that is a possibility, it would be better for you to use a computer they cannot have access to - for example, at a library, a friend's house, or at work.

Email: if an abuser has access to your email account, he or she may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess. 
 
For more information on internet and email safety and instructions on how to clear your internet history please go to one of the following websites: 

http://www.shelternet.ca/en/women/internet-safety/

http://www.arisingwomenplace.org/hide-activities 

Protect Yourself

Taking care of yourself

• Find information. Many hospital emergency rooms, health units, and some doctors offices have information about programs in your area support women impacted by violence or abuse. These people can talk with you and answer your questions. They may also have information about other support services in your community.
• Talk to someone you trust. You might have a good friend, co-worker or family member you can to talk with and who will listen to you. You might try to find a counsellor who can help you work through your thoughts, feelings and/or fears about your relationship. They can work with you to create a safety plan in case you need to leave quickly to keep you or your children safe.
• Find ways to increase your safety. While you cannot always prevent a violent incident, knowing how to contact the women’s shelter near you can help you to plan for your safety. Work with a women's advocate or a health provider to create a safety plan for yourself and your children.
• If you feel you are in danger- leave. Contact the police through 911 or the operator. Call a friend you can trust to come and get you. Arrange to meet in a public area where your partner is less likely to follow you or hurt you.
• Plan for your safety. Leaving is a very difficult decision to make. Many women leave several times to keep themselves safe. Taking time to think about and plan how to leave with your safety in mind is the most important part of planning.

Safety during a violent incident

• Keep your purse and car keys in a place that you can easily get to so you can leave quickly.
• Teach your children to call the police on the phone.
• Use a code word with your children or friends so they can call for help.
• Practice getting out safely and quickly: what doors, windows, elevators, stairs or fire escapes can you use?
• Decide where you will go if you need to leave home, even if you don’t think you will need to leave.
• Do you have a second place to go to if the first one doesn’t work out?
• If you think there will be an argument or a violent incident, avoid the bathroom, garage, kitchen or other places where there are weapons or where there is no access to an outside door.
• Trust your own judgment and intuition. If you feel that the situation is very serious, you may decide to give your partner what he/she wants to calm the situation down. Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe until you are out of danger.
• Tell neighbours you can trust about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear anything suspicious.

Safety when planning to leave

• You must do careful planning before you leave. Your partner may try to strike back if he or she thinks you will leave and they are losing control of you.
• Keep copies of important documents or keys, clothes, and money with a trusted friend or family member.
• Open your own bank account so you have some money of your own. When you open it, remember not to use your home address or phone number or the bank statements may come to your home. Can you use a friend or family member’s address?
• Keep the number of a local domestic violence hotline with you or memorize it if it is not safe to keep it with you.
• Try to have change for phone calls with you or easily reachable at all times. Remember if you use a calling card or credit card, the numbers you call will be on your telephone bill. If you need to keep your phone calls confidential, use coins or ask a friend if you can use their phone.
• Talk to friends or family in advance and see if you can stay with them or if they can lend you money.
• Review and rehearse your escape plan often to make sure you have planned the safest way to leave quickly. Practice it with your children. Talk to a domestic violence advocate or a friend and review the plan with them.
• Always try to take your children with you when you leave.

Safety at home

• Change all locks on your doors and windows. Replace all wooden doors with metal/steel doors if you can afford them. Install extra locks, window bars, or poles to wedge against doors.
• Teach your children how to use the phone to make a collect call to you in case your partner takes the children.
• Tell people who look after your children, babysitters, daycare, and school, who has permission to pick your children up. Tell them that your partner is not allowed pick them up.
• Tell neighbours and friends that your partner is not living with you any more and if they see him near your home to call the police immediately.

Staying safe at work or in the public

• Tell your boss, security supervisor where you work, and anyone else that you think should know about your situation. Ask your co-workers to screen calls at work.
• Take a different route to work, park in a different place, and try to meet up with a colleague to walk from your car to work.
• Use different grocery stores and malls for shopping. Shop at different times than you did when you lived with your partner. Use a different bank, and bank at different times than before.

Safety with a Restraining Order

• Keep your restraining order with or near you. If you change purses, it is the first thing that should go in.
• Give a copy of your order to the police department in the community where you work, where you might visit friends or family, and where you live. Let your employer, your minister, your closest friend and others close to you know that you have a restraining order in place.
• Call the local domestic violence program if you have any problems with your order.
• If your partner violates the order, call the police and report the violation. You may also call your lawyer or a domestic violence advocate for help. If the police do not help you, contact a domestic violence advocate in your area or your lawyer.

Things to take when you leave